08/05: Tooting Your Twitter Horn

Before going any further, please realize that this comes from an internet marketing perspective, and understand that Twitter is not solely an internet marketing tool, although many would have you believe that it is.

Having used Twitter for the past few months, I have plenty of observations, some of which will doubtless ruffle a few feathers and cause argument, but these are my honest opinions and conclusions as a Twitter user.

On Twitter you will find a large number of idiots, as well as a large number of insecure and opinionated people. Of all the social networking sites I have ever used, Twitter definitely takes the prize for having some of the most obnoxious internet policemen types. What makes me say this? It is the Twitter Horn Tooters, of which there seem to be an endless supply. The one thing that most of them have in common is an ulterior motive or an axe to grind.

By way of a few examples, here are some of the things that I find most unsavoury about some Tweeters.

The Rule Makers - these are the kind of people who feel they have a right to tell everybody else what they can or cannot do with Twitter. What is often noticeable about these types is their blatant "do as I say, not as I do" ethos. The world is full of them and so, alas, is Twitter. It is sorely tempting to tell them simply to **** off, something you would more than likely do in the real world.

These are the people who somehow believe that you can apply the word "spam" to anything and everything that they don't agree with. Newsflash, no Tweet can be considered spam, because you elected to "follow" the person who sent it. In effect you opted in and if you don't like it, you can opt-out just as quickly. On Twitter it's called "unfollow".

Another favorite pastime of the Rule Makers, is to belittle anyone whose follower numbers are less than theirs, somehow making the leap that they are superior in almost every way to whoever they are attacking based on this idiotic premise. Additionally of course, they will attack those who are not building their Twitter following the "right way" and throw out the tried and tested spam arguments, the holier than thou protestations against anyone who has the audacity to try and use Twitter for any kind of commercial or personal financial gain.

Of course, most of them have no intention of trying to open anyone's wallet, they are the picture perfect example of altruism and will often go as far as to tell you how they "value" their followers and dream of only good things for them, whilst extolling the virtues of their latest products and services, naturally, because they genuinely care about the thirty thousand people who follow them. You have to ask, why would anyone want a list of thousands of followers if it was not for business or commercial purposes? Have you ever known a person who had thousands of friends? Didn't think so.

While on that subject, do you really believe that someone with thousands and thousands of followers is even remotely interested in you and what you have to say? Do you think they are ever going to see one of your Tweets, let alone enter into any sort of dialogue with you? In short, are you their friend, their equal? Not in their eyes, which brings up an interesting point in the chosen terminology of Twitter.

"Followers", was the word chosen to describe your network of names on Twitter. Followers, think about that. You can see why it appeals to a certain type of person, and you could draw some pretty ugly comparisons had you a mind to. Those who obsess about the size of their following, those who believe that this somehow bestows upon them some kind of status and importance not enjoyed by the mere mortals who follow them (like sheep?).

Let's move on to another class of Twitter user, usually a bit cleverer than the rule makers, these are the kind who are selling the idea that Twitter is the next big marketing holy grail. Unfortunately, this is usually in an attempt to sell you the latest greatest Twitter fad, guaranteeing to "explode your following and therefore make you rich overnight.

Come on! This is obviously blatant hype and untruths - let me qualify however. I'm not saying that Twitter is useless as a marketing tool because there are plenty of people who have integrated it into their marketing and been very successful. My guess is that if you are in the right niche and target the right people it can work very well. I also think that just like any form of marketing you need to establish yourself with your audience and if they like and trust you they may eventually buy some of the things you recommend to them. However, if you think that just adding countless numbers to your follower count is going to make you a huge online success I'd think again.

People will lie to you online, particularly to try and sell you the latest, greatest guarantee of wealth and success. Think before opening your wallet.

Twitter also has some major flaws as far as I can see. Trying to keep up with even a few hundred people is virtually impossible. Using a service like TweetDeck or other third party applications will soon see you exceeding the flow of tweets allowed. These people with thousands of followers are extremely unlikely to be paying attention to what you are twittering about because it's not humanly possible to keep up with everything. I can fire up Tweetdeck and within a minute I've exceeded the API's allowable traffic and that means I see no new Tweets until an hour has passed.

I follow one or two people whose mailing lists I have been on or am still on, or bloggers whose prose I continue to read. Those kind of Twitter users, i.e. those with an already established base of customers/readers can continue with those relationships via Twitter and in that way it is another useful communication tool.

If you're starting from scratch though, don't expect miracles, that's all I'm saying.  

Image Credit:  Boris Veldhuijzen van Zanten